FEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk and you get the rest.
DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. You and your neighbors vote to see who gets the milk.
- REPUBLICAN DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. You and your neighbors elect someone to tell you who gets the milk.
- DEMOCRAT DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. You go to an election and vote. However, because your vote carries no weight, your neighbors elect someone to tell you who to give the milk to.
- PARTISAN DEMOCRACY: The president promises to give you two cows if you vote for him. After the election, he is impeached for speculating in cow futures, and the press dubs the affair "Cowgate".
CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one, and buy a bull.
- AMERICAN-STYLE CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and convince the government to give you a tax deduction for the milk you lost.
BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. After that, it takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and pours the milk down the drain. The governement then requires you to fill out forms to account for the missing cows and fines you for improper disposal of the milk.
SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes both and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You then take care of all the cows, and the government gives you as much milk as you need.
- SOCIALISM IN PRACTICE: You have two cows. The government takes both and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows where they are cared for by ex-chicken farmers, while you get to take care of the chickens that the government took from the chicken farmers. The government then gives you as much milk and as many eggs as the regulations say you need.
FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them, and sells you the milk.
COMMUNISM: You have two cows. Your neighbors help you to take care of them, and all of you share the milk.
- RUSSIAN-STYLE COMMUNISM: You have two cows. You take care of both of them, but the government takes all the milk.
DICTATORSHIP: You have two cows. The government takes the cows and the milk, then shoots you.
MILITARIANISM: You have two cows. The government takes the cows and the milk, then drafts you into the army.
TOTALITARIANISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and denies they ever existed. Milk is banned.
ANARCHY: You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbors kill you and take the cows.
2/23/99