One day while walking downtown, a woman supervisor in the human resources department was hit by a bus and tragically killed.
When her soul arrived in heaven, she was met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter himself.
"Welcome to Heaven," said St. Peter. "Before you get settled in though, it seems we have a problem. You see, strangely enough, we have never once had an HR manager make it this far and we're not at all sure what to do with you."
"No problem", said the woman, "just let me in."
"Well, I'd like to, but I have higher orders. What we're going to do is to let you have a day in Hell and a day in Heaven. Then you can choose whichever one you want to spend an eternity in" the Saint replied.
"Actually, I think I've already made up my mind...I would prefer to stay in Heaven".
"Sorry, but we have rules..." And with that St. Peter put the HR manager in an elevator and went down-down-down it went to Hell.
When the elevator doors opened, the HR manager found herself stepping out onto the putting green of a beautiful golf course. In the distance, there was a country club and standing just in front of her were all of her old friends - fellow HR professionals that she had once worked with.
They were all dressed in evening gowns, and everyone was cheering for her. They ran up and kissed her on both cheeks, and she had a wonderful time talking with everyone about old times.
They then played an excellent round of golf, and that night they went to the country club where she enjoyed an excellent steak and lobster dinner.
At the clubhouse, she met the Devil, who was actually a really nice guy (kinda cute), and she had a great time telling jokes and dancing. The HR manager was having such a good time that before she knew it, it was time to leave. Everybody shook her hand and waved good-bye as she got on the elevator. The elevator went up-up-up and the door opened back up at the Pearly Gates where St. Peter was waiting for her.
"Now it's time to spend a day in Heaven" he said.
So the HR manager spent the next 24 hours lounging around the clouds, playing the harp and singing. She had a great time and before she knew it, her 24 hours in Heaven were up and St. Peter came and got her.
"So, you've now spent a day in Hell and a day in Heaven. It is time for you to choose your eternity" he said.
The HR manager paused for a second and then replied, "Well, I never thought I'd say this. I mean, Heaven has been really great and all, but I think I had a better time in Hell." So St. Peter escorted her back to the elevator and again the consultant went down-down-down to Hell.
When the doors of the elevator opened she found herself standing in a desolate wasteland covered in garbage and filth. To her horror, she saw that her friends were now dressed in rags and picking up garbage to put in sacks for the evening meal.
The Devil came up to her, put his arm around her and laughed.
"I don't understand," stammered the HR manager, "Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and a country club and we ate lobster and danced and had a great time. Now all there is is a wasteland of garbage and all my friends look miserable."
The Devil looked at her and grinned, "that's because yesterday we were recruiting you, but today you're staff."
11/13/98